The Ant Farm - 2017 |
 |
Published 1/11/2017
By John Freivalds
“Many ants practice trophalixis which involves reciprocal feeding between individuals and the exchange of chemicals that trigger certain behavior.” If there ever was a place on earth where this reciprocal feeding using the exchange of chemicals occurs, it is Washington, D.C. where I just visited for my 50th class reunion of Georgetown University’s School of Foreign Service. And Old Ebbitt's Grill across from the Treasury Department is a key place where chemicals are exchanged.
The D.C. real estate market is beyond booming where chump change is now a $1 million dollar house and $800,000 for a one bedroom efficiency condo. How bad is it? A dear friend of mine, a former Cabinet Secretary, invited me to lunch at his house in the leafy suburb of Potomac Village which Zillow values at US $3.5 million. We had a nice lunch and then he drove me around Potomac Maryland, , to show me “where the rich people live.”
All this wealth is driven by the influx of lobbyists (36,000 at last count) and their continued influence. The Sunlight Foundation put all this in perspective. "For every member of Congress, the influence industry produces about $12 million in lobbying. By comparison the average 2012 budget for a member of the House of Representative office is only $1.3 million. So in 2012 government "relators" (ed. note: lobbyists) accounted for more than 9 times the typical House Members official operating expenditures. Translation, them that has keeps. As long as Congressmen have no term limits, they need money to run for reelection and where do they go to get it, The Ant Farm.
Few people start out as consultants or lobbyists in The Ant Farm. They had to be something first and they usually have to learn how to wear suspenders (aka braces) and two tone shirts, you know light blue with a white collar. And who is the latest lobbyist to join the Ant Farm, why Trump’s last campaign manager Corey Lewandowski. You can pursue a lot of different careers and still live in The Ant Farm. You can start out as a Democrat and end up lobbying Republicans and vice versa and most have law degrees. There are also a lot of straight-laced military types who end up hustling defense contracts. In D.C., a law degree is required for political lobbying, but you better have a lot of oak leaf clusters for lobbying the Pentagon. A former classmate was The Chief Allied Commander of NATO and now a lobbyist.
The government has become mediocre (and we have let it happen). We are a rich country and don’t care too much about the quality of our Presidents and Congressmen regardless of what party they come from. In recent years they have been both Democrat and Republican, an undistinguished lot. Everything swirls around name recognition, not what that person really stands for or is capable of. They get to appoint 5,000 people to the government. Loyalty, not competence, dictates appointments. And the Senate confirms most of these turkeys.
This built-in mediocrity then chases the good people out and totally turns off the ones that are remaining. And because the Presidents (I went to school with one -- Clinton), who appoint people by affiliation, not qualifications, know about their competence (or lack of same). The White House, not the various departments, runs the government. You don’t think so? Quick, give me the names of the Secretaries of Health and Human Services, Energy, Agriculture, and Interior.
But whatever the background, the lexicon of The Ant Farm is unique. The strategic glossary below might help.
|
HOW TO SPEAK STRATEGICALLY |
|
|
Normal Speak |
Ant Farm Speak |
|
Get our act together |
On message |
|
Getting your point across |
Effective message management |
|
Give to their fundraiser |
Engage with elected officials |
|
How to get yours |
Policy initiative |
|
Important |
Strategic |
|
Making people believe you |
Scripting radio and television appearance |
|
Pattern |
Paradigm |
|
Practical advice |
Strategic counseling |
|
Point of view |
Advocacy |
|
Rich |
Highly select |
|
Top level |
Elite |
|
What we do |
Practice area |
|
Word to always use |
Strategic!!!!!! |
And the name of Corey Lewandowski’s new lobbying firm: Avenue Strategies. Drain the swamp? Not anytime soon.